JF Ptak Science Books Quick Post
I have read and seen my share of quack advertisements, eletro-luxurious machines to cure gouty embolisms, powdery powders that cure powder and things like power, cocaine bibs for infants, radium suppositories that will work to help make you "regular", grease baths to make you fertile, electric chairs with special devices for the "sensitive organ" to deliver small dosages of electricity to do g_d-knows-what,and so on, as these mostly-knowing shyster/huckster productions fade into the cold black sea.
[Sere here for a short post on this blog, "The Gift that Keeps on Giving: Radium Suppositories"]
But tonight I've read an absolutely lovely concoction for ready-made remedies, one of the best--if not the most entirely best--ever. All brought to me via the insistence of our 9-year-old on reading Roald Dahl's George's Marvelous Medicine. George, you see, was a young boy anchored to a coarse oblivion by a witcherly grandmother, a venal, foul, bullying and hateful woman who gave George no end of mind-abuse when the parents were away. And so it came to be the day that George was to do something about Grandma.
What he did was to replace her special medicine with his own, marvelous, medicine. And feed it to her. And see what happened.
So he got a big cauldron and created his brew, which included the following lovely list: one bottle Goldegloss Hair Shampoo, toothpaste, superfoam shaving soap, a jar of vitamin enriched face cream, nail polish, hair remover, dandruff cure, false teeth cleaner, nevermore ponging deodorant spray, liquid parafin, Helga's Hairset, Flower of Turnip Perfume, pink plaster, several tubes of lipstick, one large box of "Superwhite for automatic washing machines, Waxwell floor polish, flea powder for dogs, canary seed, brown shoe polish, curry powder, mustard powder, extra hot chili sauce, black peppercorns, horseradish sauce, powder to cure chickens of foul pest & hen gripe, horse pills for hoarse horses, thick yellow liquid to cure cow pox, sheep dip for sheep with sheep rot, pig pills (for pigs with pork prickles), a handful of grease, and a little antifreeze.
Then it was boiled up and served to Grandma on a silver spoon, with some gin.
Things happen that I won't go into here--I'd advise reading the book. Thanks, Tessie!